Audge

Couple things.

New look. Do we like? I do. :) I'm still kind of tinkering with it.

Also, I've added PAGES to my blog (just above this post. it's the little tabs that you can see. "Books" etc.) Check them out. There will be more to come, I'm just kind of experimenting with them.

Now for the good stuff.

When I pulled out of my secret jar of journal entries, the firsts prompt that I pulled was "What is my greatest fear." And I figure it's a pretty deep one that I could share.

My greatest fear is death. And I don't mean me, myself dying. But other people. As a child, and up until about the time I was in 8th grade, death didn't really seem real to me. First, my grandpa died when I was in 8th grade, and that was really hard. Then about a year and half ago my cousin passed away (close to my age). And ever since then, death has become so real to me. I literally will have waking dreams of one of my family members dying suddenly in a car crash. I don't know why they will suddenly come to me, but they do. It's almost like I'm haunted by them. Sometimes my mind will suddenly, and very vividly, create the thought of my grandma passing away, and it devastates me. Even though I know it hasn't happened. I've even imagined myself dying, and if people beyond my family would care. Who would speak at my funeral, and all that stuff. Weird right? But it's true. I am legitimately scared to death of death. But.....I know that I have nothing to worry about. I know for myself that I will see ALL of my family after this life, and that those who have already passed on are watching over me. And that comforts me greatly.

Because that prompt was kind of depressing, I decided to pull ANOTHER prompt out. And it says, "What is your routine in the morning?"

This is what I look like in the morning. Stop laughing.

Oh dear. Well, my alarm supposedly  goes off at 6:25am. But I never remember that one. So it goes off again at 6:45am and I usually hear that one and snooze it for five minutes. Then I snooze it again. And then by 6:56am I'm usually dragging myself up. I get in to my bathroom. First I stare at the mirror, examining the nights damage. Then I grab my tooth brush and brush my teeth. Then I wash my face and MOISTURIZE. I then do a little eyeliner, shadow and mascara, and maybe some blush and call my make-up good for the day. I put plenty of chapstick on too. I brush my hair, contemplate straightening it a little, but usually don't because of laziness, so I end up just putting in a ponytail or a simple head band. During all this, I'm taking glances at the closet, trying to figure out what to wear. I then get dressed. Put on some deodorant and perfume. I then grab my chap stick, go back in my room and grab my phone and ipod, close my window. Then walk downstairs. I grab my yogurt or granola bar for breakfast and probably grab another one for lunch. Grab my shoes, my handbag. Put on my sunglasses. Then , between 7:15-7:20 am I'm out the door, in my car driving to work. Can you believe I just did all of that in 20 minutes? Yeah, I can't really either. I was remembering back in my junior high days when I would give myself like an HOUR to get ready every day, and I think "Wow, I was absolutely insane. Complete insanity."  But after early morning classes for two years in high school, I learned that all I really needed was a half an hour MAX. And once college came around, 15-20 minutes became the norm. That's what happens when sleep becomes as valuable as money. Probably even more so. Not to mention, I don't care as much what I look like. Though....that's probably not a great thing. Haha. Anyways....

Goodnight!
Song of the Day: I Love to Whistle!---Deanna Durbin